OutdoorMissouri.com

Yeah and some folks don't know how to spell either.

So Snowflake is leg humping I see, between you and Mocraig there will not be a safe leg in the forum.

Who?

When?

You two are fuggin brilliant.

Where?

Why?

You two are lowering the collective IQ of the entire board with this bullchit. Quit it, it's time for you boys to act like you have some sense.

MOCraig, I agree with you. Couldn't be rabbit ears, but it could be the tail of a fox too.

Well what was the pink elephant doing in the pool, when you checked the thermometer?

This is a letter of love and peace; I will not lash out against anyone, and I will not use specific names of individuals or organizations that encumber the religious idea with too many things of a purely earthly nature and thus bring religion into a totally unnecessary conflict with science. That said, let me merely point out that MoCraig & Snowflake's grievances serve no purpose other than to deny citizens the ability to draw their own conclusions about the potential for violence that MoCraig & Snowflake may be generating. To get immediately to the point, many people respond to MoCraig & Snowflake's doctrinaire perversions in much the same way that they respond to television dramas. They watch them; they talk about them; but they feel no overwhelming compulsion to do anything about them. That's why I insist we raise hypocritical wisenheimers out of their cultural misery and lead them to the national community as a valuable, united factor. My mother always told me, "If you don't have something intelligent to say, just keep quiet." Apparently, MoCraig & Snowflake's mother never told it that. If one believes statements like, "MoCraig & Snowflake is the ultimate authority on what's right and what's wrong," one is, in effect, supporting the most uneducated perjurers you'll ever see.

I want to insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward Dadaism. But first, let me pose an abstract question. To what depths of depravity does MoCraig & Snowflake need to descend before the rest of us realize we must promote peace, prosperity, and quality of life, both here and abroad? You see, it doesn't want us to know about its plans to level filth and slime at everyone opposed to its zingers. Otherwise, we might do something about that. This is well illustrated in what remains one of the most divisive issues of our day: negativism. MoCraig & Snowflake keeps trying to kill the goose bearing the golden egg. And if we don't remain eternally vigilant, it will surely succeed. No one that I speak with or correspond with is happy about this situation. Of course, I don't speak or correspond with unctuous spouters, MoCraig & Snowflake's supporters, or anyone else who fails to realize that MoCraig & Snowflake has no discernible talents. The only things it has undoubtedly mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose it's good at convincing people that people are pawns to be used and manipulated, but I cannot compromise with MoCraig & Snowflake; it is without principles. I cannot reason with it; it is without reason. But I can warn it, and with a warning it must indisputably take to heart: MoCraig & Snowflake's premise (that anyone who resists it deserves to be crushed) is its morality disguised as pretended neutrality. MoCraig & Snowflake uses this disguised morality to support its expedients, thereby making its argument self-refuting.

MoCraig & Snowflake will probably respond to this letter just like it responds to all criticism. It will put me down as "oppressive" or "dishonest". That's its standard answer to everyone who says or writes anything about it except the most fawning praise. That's a very important point; MoCraig & Snowflake frequently avers its support of democracy and its love of freedom. But one need only look at what MoCraig & Snowflake is doing -- as opposed to what it is saying -- to understand its true aims.

Where are the solid statistics that prove that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is? I've never seen any. Yet, there is no doubt that it will shred the basic compact between the people and their government eventually. Believe me, I would give everything I own to be wrong on that point, but the truth is that my dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to provide an antidote to contemporary manifestations of petulant faddism.

Peremptory, deluded snobbism is a disgrace to humanity, but it cannot be eliminated by moral lectures or by pious intentions. No, it can be eradicated only if we test the assumptions that underlie MoCraig & Snowflake's lamentations. I never cease to be amazed at the way that MoCraig & Snowflake can get away with lies (e.g., that every featherless biped, regardless of intelligence, personal achievement, moral character, sense of responsibility, or sanity, should be given the power to take rights away from individuals whom only MoCraig & Snowflake perceives as lame-brained), because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that MoCraig & Snowflake is lying.

In case you hadn't noticed, someone once said to me, "I am not making a generalization when I say that MoCraig & Snowflake's serfs are stampeding happily and mindlessly toward the precipice of craven autism." This phrase struck me so forcefully that I have often used it since. MoCraig & Snowflake somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. I, not being one of the many brutish suborners of perjury of this world, am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization.

If it weren't for pestiferous ratbags, MoCraig & Snowflake would have no friends. Before MoCraig & Snowflake spews any more psychoanalytical drivel, let me assure it that the hour is late indeed. Fortunately, it's not yet too late to weed out organizations like MoCraig & Snowflake that have deceived, betrayed, and exploited us. It's unquestionably a tragedy that MoCraig & Snowflake's goal in life is apparently to accelerate the natural tendency of civilization to devolve from order to chaos, liberty to tyranny, and virtue to vice. Here, I use the word "tragedy" as the philosopher Whitehead used it. Whitehead stated that "the essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things," which I interpret as saying that after hearing about MoCraig & Snowflake's abhorrent attempts to send reprehensible tax cheats on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them, I was saddened. I was saddened that it has lowered itself to this level. If there's an untold story here, it's that MoCraig & Snowflake's mercenaries argue that it can achieve its goals by friendly and moral conduct. These are the same recalcitrant barbaric-types who make incorrect leaps of logic. This is no coincidence; MoCraig & Snowflake has been, still is, and always will remain more nit-picky than the worst classes of revolting used-car salesmen I've ever seen. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world. I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want MoCraig & Snowflake to drive us into a state of apoplexy, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while MoCraig & Snowflake claims that society is screaming for its campaigns.

If MoCraig & Snowflake continues to twist our entire societal valuation of love and relationships beyond all insanity, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. This is not the same as saying that we can see the damage that is done when MoCraig & Snowflake tries to detach individuals from traditional sources of strength and identity -- family, class, private associations -- although that, too, is true. This is sufficiently illustrated by the ridicule with which MoCraig & Snowflake's antics are treated by everyone other than grotesque, misguided scamps, but I guess nobody ever explained that to MoCraig & Snowflake's bootlickers. If you agree, read on. To believe that you and I are morally inferior to treasonous vigilantes is to deceive ourselves. Despite what MoCraig & Snowflake says, its idea of brazen, grumpy favoritism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a contumelious blood-lust. It is, in every sense, a crotchety and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to a prodigal frenzy and then prompts them to instill distrust and thereby create a need for its vainglorious views.

The first lies that MoCraig & Snowflake told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; its lies will grow until they blot out the sun. It will be objected, to be sure, that MoCraig & Snowflake doesn't honestly want to coordinate a revolution. At first glance, this may seem to be true, but when you think about it further, you'll unmistakably conclude that it spouts the same bile in everything it writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue it's excited about this week is masochism, which says to me that I would indubitably like to comment on MoCraig & Snowflake's attempt to associate opportunism with misoneism. There is no association. Please, please, please help me oppose evil wherever it rears its contemptible head. Without your help, MoCraig & Snowflake will certainly lead us, lemminglike, over the precipice of self-destruction.

MoCraig & Snowflake's coadjutors say that nothing would help society more than for them to humiliate, subjugate, and eventually, eliminate everyone who wants to discuss the programmatic foundations of MoCraig & Snowflake's passive-aggressive circulars in detail. Sorry, I don't buy that. This probably does not affect your daily life, but it is a fact. As I remove the veil of ignorance I have lived behind, I find that MoCraig & Snowflake is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every ultra-larcenous ideology finds expression in MoCraig & Snowflake. I'm sure you get my point here. Anyway, that's it for this letter. Let MoCraig & Snowflake read it and weep.

Maybe we should burn them at the stake. How about my place at 2pm this Saturday?

Geez JD, what the f&%k have you been

Sure. We'll have the fire going already, so the more the merrier.

Holy Shi-ite....I'm with Rainbow on this! If you weren't anything to write that, then you surely were if you thought I was going to read that dissertation!

I have a solution...just ban their asses. That way, hopefully, we won't be subjected to anymore novels like whatever you wrote above. Plus it's easier than ignoring 'em, like I do now.