Real Men's Quiz
Posted: March 10th, 2004, 1:55 pm
This is a test for men only and all real men answer "C" to all of these
questions.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are
the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they
present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device capable of
curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out
hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all
over the entire Earth. You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the UN.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss
the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Bottle Rockets.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for
narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really
sportsmanlike way to let him know that for business reasons, you have to
have him killed.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
5. You have been dating a woman for several years. She's attractive and
intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday
afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football
game. She's reading the papers and suddenly, out of the clear blue sky,
tells you she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer bear the
uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's
not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe you
have some kind of future together. What do you say?
A. You sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want
to rush it.
B. Although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say
you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't
want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. You cannot believe the Chiefs called a draw play on third and seventeen.
6. Okay, so you have decided you truly love a woman and you want to spend
the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world
has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and
when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the
stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get
your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
A. "What do I do to get them ready?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so
large you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to
be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the
garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, is quietly
trying to discard his underwear.
9. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. The Remote control
questions.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are
the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they
present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device capable of
curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out
hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all
over the entire Earth. You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the UN.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss
the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Bottle Rockets.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for
narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really
sportsmanlike way to let him know that for business reasons, you have to
have him killed.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
5. You have been dating a woman for several years. She's attractive and
intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday
afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football
game. She's reading the papers and suddenly, out of the clear blue sky,
tells you she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer bear the
uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's
not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe you
have some kind of future together. What do you say?
A. You sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want
to rush it.
B. Although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say
you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't
want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. You cannot believe the Chiefs called a draw play on third and seventeen.
6. Okay, so you have decided you truly love a woman and you want to spend
the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world
has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and
when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the
stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get
your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
A. "What do I do to get them ready?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so
large you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to
be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the
garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, is quietly
trying to discard his underwear.
9. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. The Remote control