Two Tall the Neanderthal's Last Interview
Posted: August 5th, 2005, 10:03 am
The names have been changed to protect the guilty. 
As you all know, lets just call him "JT", has been down on his luck after losing his writing job. Who would have ever thought they would discover his illiteracy.
So being the good person I am, I sent him to see a friend about a "sure thing" job. Even he, could "pull this one off." Well JT's Mom finally was able to get him a bus ticket to his interview. He dressed in his finest green jacket, red swim truncks and luckily he found his sisters pink flip flops when the bus was headed toward the shack.
Ol' Jt was running pretty hard when he hit the ground, flagging that bus down, but he made it. He was damned determined to get this job, even if nothing could compare to his first and only "dream job."
Well he arrived a little late because the bus driver had to pack his nose with gauze, good thing his momma always made him carry that first aid kit, disquised as a lunch box.
Now, G.L. the factory owner, just needed help, any help, even ol' JT, would be just fine. If they could operate a couple of on & off switches and put the basketballs into a box 2 out of 3 times they were headed straight for "employee of the week." So they sat down in the office and proceeded with the standard interview questions. Now JT being the honest guy he is, said to the boss G.L., "Now sir I's haf to tell ya, that I's not able ta ta ta read or write." Well G.L thought to himself that's allright, there are plently of people here that can't read or write, he'll fit right in. So being a little thrown off G.L asked, "didn't they ever teach you that in school." He said, yea... my sista bet me a nickel, that I wouldn't suck that horse off, and for the first tyme it kick a me in da head!"
JT kept explaning, "ever sense den I twasn't able to read ur writ". he continued, "but I've never missed a day of work in my life, sur!" Well this just about blew G.L. away, but he figured JT didn't know the value of a nickel, so he'd be cheaper than the all those illegals he had just fired. He scanned down JT's application (his sister felt really bad about the "accident" and filled out almost anything he asked for these days) 
G.L. noticed his first job was at Purina Farms, and he had managed to hold it, for eight straight years. "Tell me about your first job at Purina, JT." Well... JT looked around the room, then up at the ceiling and this big smile came across his face. "sur, dat twas de bes JOB I eber had....I...I...I JACKED OFF TURKEYS, 
said JT proudly! Now G.L. had been hiring people a long time and this was a new one to him. 
He shook his head in disbelief, reached over and shut the door, kicked his feet up on the desk, took that cigar out of his pocket and said, "You're going to have to tell me a little more about this job." JT then said nervously,....well I twas with the a.r.t.i.f.i.c.i.a.l..... in.in.in.sem.i.nation. program run by da Purina company." Well just stunned, and sort of relieved, G.L. said, I just have one more question for ya JT,............
"Were you any good at it?" JT thought to himself for more than a moment, then that familiar smile came back across his face, and he sighed, "Well all dem Gobblers on dat Farm, did meet me at the gate every morning!"
Well ol' JT got the job, and has been stuffing basketballs in boxes ever since. He probably be better at it, if he wasn't always daydreaming of that Purina "dream" job. When he gets some extra time his sister continues to write "the articles for him." If you ever need to find him just look on the outskirts of that Purina Farm, he's there somewhere close, crying and acting like he's stalking deer.
Have a good day! 
As you all know, lets just call him "JT", has been down on his luck after losing his writing job. Who would have ever thought they would discover his illiteracy.
So being the good person I am, I sent him to see a friend about a "sure thing" job. Even he, could "pull this one off." Well JT's Mom finally was able to get him a bus ticket to his interview. He dressed in his finest green jacket, red swim truncks and luckily he found his sisters pink flip flops when the bus was headed toward the shack.
Ol' Jt was running pretty hard when he hit the ground, flagging that bus down, but he made it. He was damned determined to get this job, even if nothing could compare to his first and only "dream job."
Well he arrived a little late because the bus driver had to pack his nose with gauze, good thing his momma always made him carry that first aid kit, disquised as a lunch box.
Now, G.L. the factory owner, just needed help, any help, even ol' JT, would be just fine. If they could operate a couple of on & off switches and put the basketballs into a box 2 out of 3 times they were headed straight for "employee of the week." So they sat down in the office and proceeded with the standard interview questions. Now JT being the honest guy he is, said to the boss G.L., "Now sir I's haf to tell ya, that I's not able ta ta ta read or write." Well G.L thought to himself that's allright, there are plently of people here that can't read or write, he'll fit right in. So being a little thrown off G.L asked, "didn't they ever teach you that in school." He said, yea... my sista bet me a nickel, that I wouldn't suck that horse off, and for the first tyme it kick a me in da head!"
JT kept explaning, "ever sense den I twasn't able to read ur writ". he continued, "but I've never missed a day of work in my life, sur!" Well this just about blew G.L. away, but he figured JT didn't know the value of a nickel, so he'd be cheaper than the all those illegals he had just fired. He scanned down JT's application (his sister felt really bad about the "accident" and filled out almost anything he asked for these days) G.L. noticed his first job was at Purina Farms, and he had managed to hold it, for eight straight years. "Tell me about your first job at Purina, JT." Well... JT looked around the room, then up at the ceiling and this big smile came across his face. "sur, dat twas de bes JOB I eber had....I...I...I JACKED OFF TURKEYS, said JT proudly! Now G.L. had been hiring people a long time and this was a new one to him. He shook his head in disbelief, reached over and shut the door, kicked his feet up on the desk, took that cigar out of his pocket and said, "You're going to have to tell me a little more about this job." JT then said nervously,....well I twas with the a.r.t.i.f.i.c.i.a.l..... in.in.in.sem.i.nation. program run by da Purina company." Well just stunned, and sort of relieved, G.L. said, I just have one more question for ya JT,............"Were you any good at it?" JT thought to himself for more than a moment, then that familiar smile came back across his face, and he sighed, "Well all dem Gobblers on dat Farm, did meet me at the gate every morning!"
Well ol' JT got the job, and has been stuffing basketballs in boxes ever since. He probably be better at it, if he wasn't always daydreaming of that Purina "dream" job. When he gets some extra time his sister continues to write "the articles for him." If you ever need to find him just look on the outskirts of that Purina Farm, he's there somewhere close, crying and acting like he's stalking deer.
Have a good day! 
