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Tell a Messican Joke Day'
Posted: May 5th, 2006, 7:13 am
by Swamp_Fox
Why don't Mescans bar-b-que?
Because the beans keep falling through the grill!
What did Jim Bowie say to Davy Crockett when he woke up and saw 4000 Mescans out in front of the Alamo?
"What are we doing today Davy? Roofing?"
Re: Tell a Messican Joke Day'
Posted: May 5th, 2006, 7:21 am
by Rafe Hollister
What did the Messican firefighter name his twin boys?
Jose & Hose B
Re: Tell a Messican Joke Day'
Posted: May 5th, 2006, 7:29 am
by Swamp_Fox
Why does a Mexican re-fry their beans?
Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?
What are the first 3 words in the Mexican national anthem?
"Attention K-Mart shoppers."
What are the first three words in every Mexican cookbook?
"Steal a chicken"
Re: Tell a Messican Joke Day'
Posted: May 5th, 2006, 7:34 am
by Swamp_Fox
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day.
The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."
The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.
As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.
The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again.
This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up.
This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"
Re: Tell a Messican Joke Day'
Posted: May 5th, 2006, 7:40 am
by Swamp_Fox
Why did God give Mexicans noses?
So they'll have something to pick in the winter.
Re: Tell a Messican Joke Day'
Posted: May 5th, 2006, 7:43 am
by LadyAngler
What did the Mexican say when his house fell in on him?
Get the F off me, Holmes!
Re: Tell a Messican Joke Day'
Posted: May 5th, 2006, 9:03 am
by Duck Me Runnin
@ LA
Why were there no Mexicans in the 2004 Summer Olympics ?
Because anyone that could run, swim, or jump was already in the U.S.
Re: Tell a Messican Joke Day'
Posted: May 5th, 2006, 9:08 am
by Big John
Why can't mexicans be firemen?
They can't tell the difference between jose and hose b
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How do you stop a Mexican tank?
Shoot the guy pushing it.
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Why are Mexicans so short?
They all live in basement apartments.
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How Do You Starve A Mexican?
Put Their Food Stamps In Their Work Boots.
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What do you call 100 mexicans working on a roof?
Chingos
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Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?
Society.
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What do you call mexican basketball?
Juan on Juan.
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Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?
Me neither.
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What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopuss?
I don't know but it could pick lettuce good.
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Why don't mexicans bbq?
The beans fall through the little holes.
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What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?
steal a chicken
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Did you hear about that one mexican that went to college?
yeah.. me neither
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What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
Cuatro Cinco
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how do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?
put up a help-wanted sign
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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican?
A bench can support a family (sorry, that one is really mean)
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What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower?
A miracle.
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What do you call a pool with a mexican in it?
Bean Dip.
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What do Mexicans pick in the off season?
Their nose.
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A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?
Jail Break.
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What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?
Grand Theft Auto.
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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!
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Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?
He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin. (burn)
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Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
They are too short to get into any other type of car.
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What is the greatest Mexican invention?
A solar powered flash light.
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Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?
Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?
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What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?
Chase after him, it's probably yours!
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Why are Mexicans so short?
When they're young, their parents say, "When you get bigger you have to get a good job."
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What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed.
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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Doesn't matter, they're to short to reach the socket.
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How do you get 50 Mexicans is a phone booth?
Throw food stamps in it.