OutdoorMissouri.com

I have a Lab & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and
was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I
was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before
I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. ?I told her no; it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack ?he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.