You know how I know you're gay??

[hobiecat]

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and the Oprah diet.



2. If you have more than one cat, you are a flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your donkey over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!"



3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab or lobster claws, raw oysters or pickled pigs feet. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.



4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot or shower, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. The world is a real man's bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases.



5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte Mocachino with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes

like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your mouth, you've had a dick there too.



6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of foreign dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your donkey. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major Leagues, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out bonjour beige or you know what a "fressier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.



7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it......you're hungry for a meat popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-donkey driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with the femaledog in the passenger seat.



8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly.

[Triton X2]

#6 reminds me of someone, I just cant remember who.

[Great White Hunter]

Triton said:
#6 reminds me of someone, I just cant remember who.

Yeah, DMR.

[JimDog]

So what are these?

[BornBad]

Crappie jigs or, depending on size, trout jigs. You will need to clean them eyes out, though.

[hobiecat]

I'd say them are some puke-green jigs.

[CuppedAndCommitted]

Light green jigs. Nothing more nothing less.