Serious question

[JimDog]

For about the past month or so, I have been absolutely swamped - between work, moonlighting, and family/kids stuff, I have had zero free time. I am gunna try like heck to break away this weekend and go out and wack me a turkey - something I have never done.

I will be hunting some turkey infested woods and I have been practicing with my custom TTN call every chance I get - so I feel like my chances of bagging one are good.

It just occurred to me that I have no idea what to do with the darn thing after I shoot it. Can someone please enlighten me? Do you skin it? Do you pluck it? How do you field dress it? I am serious about this - I really don't know. The only bird I have ever cleaned is dove, and I usually just pluck the breast, stick a couple of fingers up under the breast and pull it out. I would imagine that a turkey is a bit more involved...

[Great White Hunter]

JD - If I tell you, can I have my moderator status back?

[Warmouth]

I skin the breast, and fillet out the meat. You can do the same with the legs if you like.

You can pluck them, but very few folks that I know of do that. If you decide to though, you'll need to boil a tub of water and dunk him for a good30-60 seconds to loosen the feathers.

If you just fillet out the meat, there is no need to gut the thing. I've never once gutted a turkey.

[hobiecat]

Jim, you've got email.

[Great White Hunter]

Back off, gayfers!!! This is my deal.

[JimDog]

Snowball,

I believe you are still a moderator. I didn't de-moderate you. And hobie answered my question.

[Great White Hunter]

JD - Somebody messed with my moderator powers, as I can't change or delete posts. Check it out, if you will.

[God]

If you will remember my son, that was me who spank that donkey.

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

[LadyAngler]

Ummmm... Craig.... God just started a sentence with "And."

[Rafe Hollister]

MOCraig said:
He can pretty much do whatever H e wants. I'm staying out of it.

Sorry, Craig.

[Warmouth]

I know who God is now though.

I wish I would have pick up SplitTail within that many posts.

[Two Tall the Neanderthal]

JD... It takes less than 3 minutes to get a bird ready.

First step, pinch the skin around the beard and cut it off leaveing some flesh around the root of it.

Second, with a SHARP knife, find the big bald brestbone while the turkey is laying on it's back. Slice thru the skin and membrane below it. The cut only needs to be about an inch and a half. Now take your fingers wedge them under the skin and pull each side of the cut towards the wing joint. It will tear all the way down. Now put your palms on both drumsticks and force them out and down. They will pop at the hip joints and leave plenty of room for breasting the bird. Make sure you'be got the skin pealed far enough back to expose the whole breast on each side.

Now towards the chest of the bird just in front of the bald breast bone you will see where the the breast halves look like they seperate and there is some fatty tissue. Stick your finger in there and pull towards the neck. This will roll out the craw and a some of that extra fat. The craw will look like a big air filled bubble when it's pulled away from the breasts.

Now filet out the breasts.

Now you can cut out the thighs and legs of the bird if you like. Pulling the skin off them as well.

Next flip the bird over, collect all the tailfeathers in one hand and pull the tail towards the back with your left hand. Take a knife and cut across above the butthole and through a little bone. Lift the collected tailfeathers up as you cut then leave a little extra skin from the back on the wad of tailfeathers as you finish cutting it off. There you have the tail fan for mounting.

Now if you save the spurs, take the knife and cut the skin right across the front of the knee joint. The knee will come apart once you cut the ligiments. Now twist the leg it will pop and leave the one big ligament left to cut and the foot will be loose. Do the same with the other foot and you have all the goods from your bird.

[PoisonSnake]

Hang the mother fornicater up from a good limb about 9 feet high. Then, beat the living fornicate out of it with a baseball bat. Then, donkey-fornicate it a half-dozen times for good measures. It will make you feel a lot better about yourself once you are finished. Ten years from now, you will thank me for this advice.

[RB]

PoisonSnake said:
Hang the mother fornicater up from a good limb about 9 feet high. Then, beat the living fornicate out of it with a baseball bat. Then, donkey-fornicate it a half-dozen times for good measures. It will make you feel a lot better about yourself once you are finished. Ten years from now, you will thank me for this advice.

PS, you might want to consider a visit to a mental health professional.

[PoisonSnake]

Right now I am on edge. I have been guiding this fellow from Florence, Italy the last 2 days and it has worn me down. The worst part of it is that I haven't carried a gun in fear of pulling a Snowflake. Tomorrow, I'm packing although I doubt we'll kill anything. We've screwed up a half-dozen wet dreams in the last 2 days. He did kill a bearded hen though.